Reflection
by chelleduh
Summary: Oneshot. Kori's relfection and feelings toward Richard breaking her heart. R


Author's Note: This is my first oneshot, so go a little easy on me! Well don't forget to review. Sorry if the characters are a little oc. Enjoy.

* * *

She sat on her bed, hugging a peach colored stuffed lamb, wondering what had just happened. The mixture of emotion inside of her was unbearable. Sadness. Confusion. Relief, like a burden was just lifted from her shoulders. A Broken Love. Hate. She was thinking about how she might have done it first but didn't have the heart to. How could he have done it to her? She pondered about everything they had, everything they did, and of him. His smile, his eyes, his athletic ability, his mind, his love. And his voice, that voice that made her believe. Believe even she could be loved for who she was and that she could actually love. A silent tear fell onto the foam letters. "Kori loves Richard." The moment replayed in her mind, as she looked out the window to where it had happened, a mere 10 minutes ago. 

"Walk me to my door, Rae," she said, as they approached my house.

"I'll walk you," he said in a calm yet nervous tone.

"Do it." Raven whispered in her ear. She shook her head, "I can't." She whispered back.

The car had come to a stop and a short goodbye had taken place. She, Richard, and Raven stepped out of the car and started to walk down to her house.

"Do it, do it," she kept hearing. "I can't." she kept saying.

As she and Raven approached the door, Richard was slowly following, as if having a metal fight about what he should do. The next moment he started to guide her to the side of her house with his hand gently placed on her arm.

What she didn't see, was that Richard had made Raven step aside. He gave his friend a specific look from his eyes to hers. In that spilt second, Raven knew that he was going to break the girl that she thought he cared for.

"What is he doing? Is he going to hug and kiss me and make everything better again?" she thought with the hopeful look in her eyes.

Richard put his hands on her shoulders, as if trying to comfort her. He stared into her eyes and in that moment she knew something was going to go wrong, she knew once he started with those dreadful words: "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry," he began. "This relationship has had some of the best times and some of the worst."

"This can't be the end, I can't take it. No. No, this can't be right" she thought.

"But, I can't see you anymore," and right at that moment, he could see the hurt in her eyes. Her gaze drifted off to the side. She felt weaker; she felt that she didn't have the strength to keep looking him in the eyes. She felt her eyes begin to water, but she had to stop them. She didn't want to break down in front of Richard and look like a weak and helpless girl. But he could see through her shield but he didn't think of her as weak or helpless.

"Look, I know you're sad but this is the way it has to be. I can't be with you any longer." And with that she looked at him and he started to pull her bit by bit closer to him. Until she just couldn't take it any longer, she hugged him, as if for the last time. She dug her face in his shoulder and stayed like that for as long as she could. As she began to let go, her memories for the past eight months flashed in her mind. Once they were separated, he looked at her once more and walked away.

Raven approached her as she felt the water in her eyes starting too built up once more. She said, "I shouldn't be crying, it will be good for me. I can concentrate on school and not worry about how I act around some people. He was causing me a lot of pain anyway." But she knew what she said was fake. She loved him with all her being and Richard just dropped her like everything they went through was nothing.

"I know I'm not emotional but, man, you're going to make me cry," Raven said.

"No, it's okay. I'm going to be fine," she said, trying to fool Raven and herself.

She returned to reality and realized the tears streaming down her tanned cheeks. She thought that they had it all, that everything was perfect. But she didn't realize how much they fought and how much he had hurt her inside. Yet, she could still come through all of that and still love him even if he didn't love her. Memories went through her head as a song played on the radio.

_I never asked for this feeling  
I never thought I would fall_

That's how she felt. She didn't ask for this whole emotional roller coaster to happen. She just thought of it as a simple crush and nothing more. Not until he made his move and asked her to be his love. He showed her how to love and how he knew how, she would never learn. All she wanted was for him to understand, understand that she was in too deep. And now, it was just a bunch of shattered glass, her feelings mean nothing anymore. She thought her life wasn't worth living anymore. She didn't know that she would need him to keep living, to be happy, to enjoy God's gift of life that was bestowed upon her.

_I never knew how I felt  
'Till the day you were gone  
I was lost_

"But, I can't see you anymore," and right at that moment, he could see the hurt in her eyes. Her gaze drifted off to the side.

At that moment she was a confused girl, and thought she was left with nothing in the world. She was a lost cause and nobody would ever love her in that way again.

_I never asked for red roses  
I wasn't looking for love_

She started to look back on the memories that made her fall so deep in love.

"Hey baby, here's your Valentines' Day gift," he said as he handed her an apricot colored bag with a red rose sticking out on the right side.

"Thanks, but all I could really ask for was a simple rose." she said with a sweet smile that would always make him fall in love again.

"I know, but you're worth much more." Richard had said as he took a step closer to her and lifted her chin with his index finger. And they shared a sweet and simple kiss.

_Somehow I let my emotions take hold  
And guess what all at once  
I'm in love_

"I love you," he said looking her in the eyes. She knew it wasn't something he had just said to make her happy.

"I love you, too." she said, she knew it was real. This boy had taught this innocent girl how to love.

_Oh I miss you so much  
I long for your love  
Its scares me  
'Cuz my heart gets so weak  
That I can't even breathe_

"I miss you, so much." she said to him, over the phone.

"I miss you too, baby. So much, it hurts to even think about you," he said.

_How can you take things so easily?  
Baby why aren't you missing me?_

"He said it like it was nothing," she thought. "He takes everything so easy like it was just phase through puberty. Like a game, if he could get a girl to fall for him and then pull it all out from under and break her fragile heart into pieces of shattered glass. Even though I think that, I still love him"

_Why did I act like you mattered?  
It was silly of me to believe  
That if I just opened my heart  
Things would come naturally?  
Jokes on me_

"I think I'm so obsessed with us because you're my first love and I don't know how to handle it. I just thought it would come naturally but it's way harder than that." she said to him.

_I did not ask for love letters  
So why did you give them to me_

"I can't believe that's how he feels for me," she thought.

"My world was black and white until the day you walked through my door and into my heart," he wrote to her. "This is true and I mean it from the bottom of my heart."

_How could I let your intentions?  
Get hold over me  
So in love  
So naive?_

"It's like he took advantage of how innocent I was and tried to make a fool out of me. And I guess it worked, too. Probably gonna brag to all his little friends about how he did, the look on my face, and how broken-hearted I am."

_And oh how I hate what you have done  
Made me fall so deep in love  
Got no cure_

"I'm in so deep, with no way of getting out. He made me feel so special, like I was worth loving and worth being cared for. I thought he cared for me and he really doesn't. There's is no way of completely getting over Richard."

_You're the only one I want  
That I love oh baby_

"For the next I don't know how long, I won't be able to want anyone else as much as I want you. Nothing and nobody can ever replace you, Richard. You are my one and only. I know that you've hurt me a lot but I always thought that you had done me more good than bad. I saw through all the hurt but no one else could. They always said but he hurts you so much, why don't you just end it now? I was the one who saw through it all, who believed that we could and would always get through those hard times but I guess this time, it was just too much."

_Baby why aren't you missing me?  
Baby why aren't you missing me?_

"I wish you missed me as much as I miss you."

Her friend said that it was just puppy love and she didn't know what real love was. But she knew that that was wrong. It wasn't infatuation or some fake love, it was real and she knew it. The way she felt, it could not have been one of those deep crushes.

This girl, that had her heart broken, who is she you ask?

She is Kori Anders, she is me.

* * *

How was it? Let me know in a review! 

Loves, Michelle or Chelly or Chelle


End file.
